


The Trans Freddy Freeman Au That No One Asked For But I Wrote Because I Can

by shrieky_noodles



Category: Shazam! (2019)
Genre: Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, I Might Continue Writing This Story Or I Might Just Leave it As A Oneshot, I'm Bad At Everything, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Bad At Titles, It Took Me Ages To Finish This, Maybe some angst, Non Canon Trans Character, Sorry For Inconstant Tenses, TW: Chest Binding For Too Long, The Author Regrets Everything, The Author Regrets Nothing, Trans Freddy Freeman, Trans Male Character, Why Did I Write This?, Written By A Cis Author Please Tell Me What I Did Wrong, actually it wasn't written by a cis author lmao, i can't tag, i hate everything, just why, oof
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-13
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:40:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24169756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shrieky_noodles/pseuds/shrieky_noodles
Summary: Freddy shook his head in wonder. His mood was up again, and he was surprised.Normally on these days, even Darla couldn’t cheer him up. Maybe now things would be different.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Things were not different.
Relationships: Billy Batson & Freddy Freeman, Freddy Freeman & Rosa Vasquez
Comments: 13
Kudos: 30





	The Trans Freddy Freeman Au That No One Asked For But I Wrote Because I Can

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo.... This is going to be really bad I can guarantee it.  
> My writing skills are... Not ideal... I can kinda spell though!  
> Possible Triggers will be stated at the beginning of each chapter.  
> Possible TW: Minor Bullying, Binding for way longer than you are supposed to, Internalized Transphobia, Gender Dysphoria, Borderline Panic Attacks, Menstruation.

Freddy Freeman woke up to a sharp whistling sound. He rolled out of bed, getting constricted into his blankets and becoming a human cocoon. He was confused, disoriented, and panicked. He lifted his head up abruptly (a hard task when one has become a taco) to meet a pair of sparkling green eyes and two deep dimples. He shrieked. 

His superhero foster brother/best friend/part time tormentor apparently, Billy started to cackle rather loudly. Freddy spluttered, red faced.

"What the HELL was THAT Batson?" He managed to pull an arm out of his blankets and lightly (okay, maybe not so lightly) punched Billy in the arm. 

Billy’s laughter slowly calmed as he took in the deep scowl on Freddy’s face. He pulled out a large red whistle from behind his back and waved around in the air tauntingly, a large grin still on his face. Dim morning light filtered through the curtains in their shared bedroom, giving everything a golden tint.

“You slept past your alarm,” Billy explained, still grinning,

“You don’t want to miss school do you?” He added, tossing a sock at Freddy’s head and fist pumping triumphantly when it lodged itself into Freddy’s dark brown curls. Freddy stared at him, open mouthed, for a moment, and Billy had the brief revelation that maybe he had actually deafened Freddy with the whistle. Freddy grabbed the sock from his hair with his free arm, whipped it back at Billy and untwisted from the grasp of the constricting blankets. He stood, wobbly without the support of his crutch and dramatically flopped back onto the bed, missing hitting his head by a hair (literally).

“It’s fucking Saturday.” Freddy said, lacking the energy to yell, or yeet the rolled up pile of blankets at Billy.

Billy winced, “Okay, so yeah, maybe it is, but I’m bored and I need someone to hang out with.”

Freddy grabbed his crutch from its place, leaning against his small wooden desk. He limped over to where his bathrobe hung on the door and threw it over his baggy mismatched pajama top and bottom (the top was greenish tee shirt that could probably be an XL and hung off Freddy’s small frame delicately, and the bottoms were baggy grey sweats) wrapping it up tightly. He turned back toward Billy, couched pointedly, and muttered something about not really wanting to go anywhere because he felt sick. Billy rolled his eyes and walked up to his dresser, picking up the phone he had gotten for Christmas a few weeks ago.

“I don’t have time for you to flake on me, everyone else is busy, and I read somewhere that depression rates are up 40% in winter so...”

Freddy huffed out a sigh and shook his head slowly, “I’m pretty sure that’s a bald faced lie, but whatever. I feel like crap, so I don’t want to do anything. Ask someone else.”

“Mary is babysitting one of the neighbors, Darla is at a friend’s house, Eugene has something going on with his throat from screaming at video games, and Pedro is studying. You’re the only one who’s available! Come onnnnn!” Billy grabbed his arm loosely and tugged him towards the door.

“Back off.” Freddy spoke in a low, threatening voice, yanking his arm away abruptly. Billy stared at him comically,

“Okay, geez. Anyway, Rosa made pancakes and she told me to wake you up since it’s ten, so… I guess you’re up now… Why are you so moody today anyway?”

For a moment, Freddy was tempted to say ‘How would _you_ feel if you were born with the wrong chromosomes for your brain and had to wear a tight binder everyday or else your body dysphoria would ruin your life, because you can’t afford surgery to correct anything, and the thing that triggers everything bad just started yesterday, because T shots flake on you sometimes, leaving you wallowing in pain and blood?’ but he stopped himself. Billy had only been staying with them for about two months. It was a gross topic. He felt gross talking about it, and Billy could be transphobic for all he knew. Freddy had no proof of that, but one of his good friends from middle school turned out to be a transphobe, so you never know.

“None of your business. Why are _you_ so hyper! Tell Rosa I’ll be down in five minutes. I have to shower.” Freddy hated showers, but they were a necessity. Especially now.

“I’m not _hyper_. I’m just _in a good mood_. You should try it sometime.”

Freddy rolled his eyes and suppressed a smile, “Just leave. Maybe I’ll watch something with you if I feel like it.”

Billy pumped his fist towards the ceiling again and jogged out of the room.

Freddy shook his head in wonder. His mood was up again, and he was surprised. Normally on these days, even Darla couldn’t cheer him up. Maybe now things would be different.

Things were not different. Not really. Freddy shifted the maple syrup coated pancakes around in his plate, but he had no appetite whatsoever. He sat alone at the table, watching Rosa pick up used dishes, left behind by the other members of his family. Normally he would offer to help (and Rosa would refuse, of course), but today he just wasn’t up to it. And extra “fun” thing was how Rosa kept sending him those worried, motherly looks that he hated. She reached out a hand to check his forehead for a fever, and looked at him in surprise when he just leaned into her cool hand, instead of flinching away and telling her she was mothering him too much, like he usually did.

“Headache?” She asked, her voice laced with concern.

He nodded carefully, making sure not to jostle his head more than it already was,

“It’s…” She glanced at the large round anagram clock hanging above the head of the table, “Nine forty five. You’re usually awake by eight thirty, even on Saturdays. Nine is the latest I’ve seen you wake up since the last time you had a cold.”

Rosa pulled out the seat next to her foster son and sat, reaching her hand over the place mat to place on top of his.

“You aren’t at all concerned by the fact that Billy woke up before noon on the weekend, but you think I’m sick because I slept past my alarm?” He grumbled. Well, tried to grumble, his voice cracked considerably, and he sniffled. Not a cold sniffle, a tearful sniffle.

“Mi hijo, what’s wrong? You can tell me, my lips are sealed.” She mimed locking her lips and throwing away the key. Freddy heaved what he assumed sounded like a wheeze, but was meant to be a deep sigh.

Rosa pursed her lips sadly, “You bound overnight again didn’t you, mi querido. You know you aren’t supposed to do that. I know it’s hard, but you need to be careful…”

“I just-” His voice cracked again and a few stray tears cascaded down his cheeks again, “I mean, Billy doesn’t know yet, and what if he hates me? Or calls me a girl, or wants to move out of my room, or-”

“Hey, I know it must be terrifying for you, but you know Billy. He would never try to hurt you like that.”

“Do you want to replace me?” Freddy whispered suddenly.

“What? No, of course not. Why would you say that Freddy?” Rosa cupped his cheek with her hands and brushed a few of his tears away.

“I- I just… Billy seems so much better than me, you know? He has everything, he doesn’t cost extra money, he isn’t broken, or disabled, or in need of surgery to help muffle dysphoria. I mean, I know he isn’t perfect, but wouldn’t you rather have him than me?”

He jerked away from her hands and stared at the table. He shouldn’t have said that, now Rosa would think Freddy thought she was shallow, which was so far from the truth.

“Freddy, baby, I would never replace you. Neither would Victor! No one in this family picks favorites, or thinks of anyone as a replacement for someone else, and being born with a brain that doesn’t suit your body isn’t anyone’s fault, we love you for who you are, and we love Billy too, but he isn’t here to replace you baby.”

Freddy started to sob, but he couldn’t get the proper amount of air needed into his lungs, which made him start to breath deeper.

“Honey, you need to take off your binder,” Rosa said, casting a worried glance in his direction as she stood, holding out her arm to support him as he tried to stand up, “How long have you had it on?”

“A-About three days or so, excluding showers. I couldn’t take it off, I didn’t want-”

He wobbled on his crutch and immediately sat down at the table again. The sobbing combined with the binding too long, combined with all of his mixed up dysphoric feelings, it was all too much, and making it hard for him to even stand.

Rosa squeezed his shoulder, “I’ll get Victor to carry you up, then do you think you can take your binder off yourself? I know Mary is the only one you let help you with that, but she isn’t home, and I don’t think I can call her.”

“If Vic carries me, I think I’ll be fine.” Freddy’s sobs were dying down into little hiccups, and he imagined he looked like a mess of tears, snot, and possibly a little maple syrup from the pancakes he barely ate.

The problem was, while Freddy was being half supported half carried up the stairs by Victor, Billy was walking downstairs. As soon as Billy saw Freddy’s tear streaked face, Rosa’s worry, and Victor literally having to carry Freddy upstairs, he panicked.

“Freddy! Oh my god! Are you okay? What happened?” He had paled considerably and he appeared to be craning his neck, searching for any visible external injuries on his best friend. All of the eyes on Freddy were making him extremely self-conscious and uncomfortable. 

“I’m fine, I’m fine. Just a little worn out.” Freddy tried to assure Billy, not wanting any more attention than was necessary. It wasn’t a very convincing alibi apparently, since crying while saying you were fine never really convinced anyone.

“That’s bull! You’re being carried! Did someone attack you? Did you fall? Why are you crying? I don’t understand!”

“Billy, sweety, maybe if you move out of Victor’s way so your brother can make it to his room, he’ll explain it to you?” Rosa said hopefully, shooting Freddy an apologetic glance that seemed to say ‘I’m sorry, but it was the only way to get him to shut up. You don’t have to tell him until you’re ready.” but Freddy just tried to sigh deeply again, forgetting for a moment why he was in this predicament in the first place.

“Why is he WHEEZING LIKE THAT?” Billy’s eyes were wide as he shifted out of the way of the stair-scaling trio.

He waited to comment again until Victor helped Freddy sit on the bottom bunk it their room, and patted his shoulder. “Panic attack?” Victor asked Freddy, then turned his head as if to direct the question to Rosa as well.

“Borderline,” She replied, squeezing her foster son’s shoulder again, “He left _it_ on because _it’s_ been bad lately, and his breathing is constricted.”

“What? Someone please explain to me what is going on!” Billy said, wincing at the grief stricken expression on Freddy’s face.

“Do you us to stay? Because we will.” Rosa assured Freddy, holding up a finger to indicate Freddy’s need for silence and calm to Billy.

“I’ll be fine. Can you tell Mary what happened when she gets back? I will probably need her help.” Some of the natural color was returning to Freddy’s cheeks, and the embarrassing truth of the situation was starting to set in.

“Please don’t leave me in the dark here…” Billy pleaded, glancing back and forth between Rosa and Freddy as Victor got up to leave, Rosa followed him reluctantly, and gave Freddy’s hand one last squeeze. He smile gratefully at her, he needed the gravity.

Freddy sighed, turned to Billy (who was standing next to Freddy’s swivel chair), and gestured for him to sit. Billy, still confused and panicked, sat.

“So… I suppose you’re wondering why I’ve called you hear today…” Freddy began, clearing his throat as Rosa closed the door of the small room as she left. “So… I’m actually superman. Now that I’ve got that out of the way-”

“I can tell something is seriously wrong Freddy. Please tell me, you’re my best friend and I don’t want anything to happen to you.” Billy was wringing his hands, which normally would be quite a hilarious sight, but under these circumstances was quite stressful.

“Well… I guess you could say something already happened? Like, in the womb I guess? It’s not about my leg, before you say anything.”

Billy nodded slowly, “So like, an abnormality? I’m not really following.”

“Not an abnormality exactly, more like… A mismatch? Like, I got the wring body for my brain?”

Billy opened his mouth to say something, closed it, and opened it again. “Do you mean- Oh… I think I see where you’re going with this.”

Freddy waited for Billy to continue his thoughts.

“So like… Are you trans Freddy? A trans guy?”

Freddy’s lip trembled slightly and he nodded. “Yeah. I am. I’m sorry if it makes you uncomfortable, and I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you sooner. I just…” He trailed off, not really having anything else to say.

“Wow. I mean- Wow, I had no idea Freddy. It’s fine that you didn’t tell me, of course, it’s not my secret it’s yours. Umm, so, is that why you were having trouble breathing? Did you… Over bind or something?” He flushed, “Sorry, I don’t really know any of the proper terms, it’s all pretty new to me. but, I thought maybe, because I know you aren’t supposed to wear them for very long, unless you had- Did you have surgery? Whoa, sorry, sorry, that was a really personal question. I should _not_ have asked that-”

“It’s fine.” Freddy waved him off casually, “I’ve gotten a lot more personal questions than that. I don’t mind if you’re curious, I just don’t actually talk about it much. To answer your questions, yes I did bind for too long. Way too long actually, three days. No, I have not had top surgery. It’s hard to even afford testosterone right now, so I won’t be able to get any procedures like that done for a while.” Freddy took a breath, after rushing that sentence out quickly. He wheezed out again, and briefly compared the sound to a toned down version of one of those chicken shaped dog toys that honk when you squeeze them.

“Oh. I’m sorry dude. That sucks. Are you… Are you doing okay? I mean, if you bound for too long because you didn’t want me to know about-” Billy cleared his throat harshly, “About everything, I’m really sorry, but like, I’m not going to think of you differently or anything, or invalidate you. You’re still the same weird superhero obsessed teen you were when I met you. Nothing has changed. Well, I mean stuff has changed, obviously, but not like bad changes. Good changes! Like an oil change, not like a diaper change or…”

Freddy patted the empty space on his bed, and when Billy sat down next to him, Freddy hugged him from the side. They were both sniffling a bit. Billy, from the relief that his best friend didn’t suddenly have asthma or something like that kid in the movie about an evil clown, and also because Freddy had told him one of his biggest secrets, and Freddy from relief that Billy wasn’t some crazy Kaitlin Bennet-like transphobe who would disown him or scream at him about how gross he was for something he couldn’t change.

They both just sat there for about five minutes, in a content silence.

Freddy was the first to break it.

“You know you like… Talk a lot when you’re nervous? It’s like someone hits an on switch in your brain and suddenly you’re rapid firing speech like you’re on the front line.”

Billy flinched, and the tips of his ears flushed. “Sorry. I don’t want to make it awkward with silence, but I just end up making it more awkward by talking don’t I?”

“A little bit,” Freddy admitted, shrugging, “But I don’t really mind. It’s kind of endearing actually.”

Billy snorted, but his cheeks were slightly pink now too, and he was smiling.

“Now get out. I just heard Mary walk in through the door, and I need her help getting my binder off because I’m weak and hungry.” Freddy reached down to the floor, picked up the sock that had been flung around only around an hour earlier, and shoved it into Billy’s face, relishing the look of shock and betrayal that crossed his face.

“I _will_ get back at you Freeman.” He threatened jokingly.

Billy strolled out and Freddy just sat on the bed, crossing and uncrossing his legs.

Things will certainly be different now, he decided, smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> Guys  
> This probably sucked  
> I might write more and I might not  
> We shall see  
> But if you are reading this, please give me feedback and I'll see what I can do to fix it.  
> <3  
> ~Shadow
> 
> P.S. The very small amount of Spanish in this was brought to you by Google Translate  
> Butchering Everything since whenever Google Translate was invented  
> Thankyouandgoodnight


End file.
